The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round, But Not Terribly Quickly

It was a gorgeous autumn morning.  The sky was blue with clouds of white and gray.  The fall foliage was awash in brilliant sunshine as I travelled the rural roads of western Rhode Island into eastern Connecticut.  The roads were appropriately busy for the time of day.  My mind was engaged in productive endeavors when the Nissan Altima in front of me called me back to the business at hand.
Normally, I would assign the aggressive driving to a male, but her long hair and mannerisms made her femininity fairly obvious.  In front of her was a green Honda Civic, then two other non-noteworthy cars, then a semi.  The large letters NEMF stood out on its rear door.  I've seen their trucks often, and I was now very curious as to their meaning.  (While writing this, I looked it up, and the company is New England Motor Freight.)  The truck was travelling below the posted speed limit of 40 mph.  This can be annoying on such a stretch of road.  There are numerous curves, and not many opportunities to pass.  Thus, this line of cars was forced to stare at the back end of a lumbering truck. 

The Altima was highly impatient.  Many times, and I said "many", she tried to dart her car over the double yellow line to pass three cars and a semi in a no-passing zone.  Unfortunately for her, we weren't the only cars on the road, and there were enough coming from the other direction to deter her.  Then she darted right, to check out what might be on the side of the road.  I was really beginning to wonder if she maybe had a medical emergency to deal with.  The lumbering truck stayed its course.

On down the road we traversed, until we approached a crossroads.  No light, no stopping involved, just a set of side streets.  The truck did brake, but no turn signals.  It just began to slow down.  I thought that was odd.  And then I saw it.  The school bus that had been traveling in front of the semi came into view as it made a right turn on to the side street.  It cleared the intersection, and continued on its way, out of sight.  The semi then accelerated to a normal rate of speed for that area, and our line of cars followed suit.

We don't always see what's holding us back in life.  There is a lot of frustration involved when we feel that life is moving too slowly, there are people in our way, and we can't see around the obstacles that hide our path from us.  What we fail to realize is there are reasons for why things are happening this way.  They may have little to do with us personally, except we are on the same road.  The school bus was acting in a manner completely acceptable to school buses, traveling a bit slower due to the type of vehicle and the precious cargo it carries.  The semi was also responding in a manner fit for a large truck trailing a school bus.  And yet, because I couldn't see the bus, only the truck, I blamed the truck for our slower rate of speed.  Not blame in a vindictive sense, just that it was the cause.  Quite simply, I didn't fully understand the situation.  Truthfully, I didn't need to.  We all kept our cool, except for Ms Altima.

That should be the end of this blog, but...  Back to Ms Altima.  After the bus turned, we continued on, with her still unhappy with our progress.  Dart here, dart there.  No luck.  We approached a traffic light.  The NEMF truck made it through the green light.  The car behind it turned.  The next car made the green/yellow.  The green Civic slowed for the yellow/red.  Had it progressed, it technically would have run a red light.  Ms Altima must have been furious!  She floored it, and passed the Civic on the RIGHT to go speeding through the now red light.  Wow!  That's beyond aggressive, that's downright dangerous!  The only things I could think were medical emergency or something criminal. 
I'll never see the Altima again.  Or will I?  Not too long thereafter, the Civic turns, and behind the truck I can see the car and the Altima pass the semi.  Ok, now I'll never see them again.  Or will I?  A few miles down the road, I see a bevy of cars in front of the semi, all motoring along with a Volkswagon Passat leading the way.  At speed limit.  I snickered.  When the semi braked to slow down and avoid hitting Ms Altima, I laughed out loud.  Really!  How funny, and how very ironic.

We crested a hill, and descended into a mildly populated area.  The road widened into a four-lane road, with turn lanes and entrances for a highway and a shopping area.  Ms Altima, at first chance, darted into the straight travel lane, and floored it.  I decided to get in front of NEMF and see if I could still stay with her for a bit.  Under the highway, and... wait, she's in the turn lane for the shopping center.  Now I'm convinced there is an emergency care center in there somewhere.  She turns, I follow, but not too closely.  We go down and around, all the way to the last parking lot.  I stare at the large sign that says, "Target".  She parks in the last spot in a very long line of cars, and walks casually into the store while texting.  I shake my head, and drive out. 

I can't speak against her.  I was a dangerous driver for quite a while.  Always impatient, passing at every opportunity, hitting every corner hard and not always having somewhere important to be.  After a few accidents, and numerous speeding tickets, I have slowed down.  But its also a maturing process.  I realize I'm not the only driver on the road.  There are school kids on a bus.  There's a pregnant woman in a car.  There's a girl on the back of a motorcycle.  There are unseen obstacles around the next corner, mechanical breakdowns, and police with LIDAR.  I am saddened, and more than a bit scared, to think of the chances I took, because its not just me, there are others affected by my actions.  I sit back and smile when I regale those around me with stories of my escapades, but I came out unscathed.  To think I might have caused someone else harm...  it just isn't worth it.  I hope Ms Altima realizes that, and soon.

Where Do I Worship?

     How do I answer this question?  Worship in my experience is viewed largely as the act of singing songs that shower God with a Sunday morning praise experience.  Then I give my tithe, listen to preaching, and interact with like-minded believers.  How wonderful it is!  But is that really what worship is?

    The word worship is used many times in the Bible.  The dictionary definition is to pay reverance or homage, generally in a religious sense.  More deeply, the word revere means to fear, to be in awe of.  Homage, based on the word homme, or man, is intended to show deference towards a greater individual.  The lesser honoring the greater, with fear and awe. 

     The word worship is used often in the Bible.  Many times, deference is shown physically by bowing the head, or falling to the ground.  Bowing of the head has become a standard, while falling to the ground is not something we see so much of in today's Christian society.  This act was done often in the Bible when the Lord revealed himself, for a human cannot see God and live.  Would it then make sense that the more we know Him, the more apt we are to fall before him when we worship?  The closer we are to knowing Him, to seeing Him, the more like dead men we become?  The difference between respecting God and revering God?

     Who knows God best?  In the Book of Revelation, the four and twenty elders that sit before the throne of God fall on their faces and worship.  As do the angels that stand around the throne.  Those that abide in His presence, and see Him for who He truly is, fall on their faces and worship Him.  If I believe in the same God, why don't I?

     This is not to chastise anyone, except myself.  This is not to call into question anyone else's worship experience but my own.  What I must question is how I worship, and why.  I've been told over the course of my life that cleaning the church is an act of worship.  Feeding the hungry is an act of worship.  Paying my tithe is an act of worship.  I have, at times, felt faint when writing out a tithe check, but it wasn't from feeling close to God.  I believe I have confused worship with service and obedience, among other things. 

     Which brings up another question:  Can I worship while doing other things, like driving, or cleaning a toilet?  I would not want to fall on my face while doing either of those tasks, yet I have experienced great times with God while doing both. 

     I believe the answer to all my question lies in perspective.  The answer isn't how I worship, its in how wonderful and magnificent God is.  Its not in my actions, its in His revelation to me.  As he allows me to see and know Him, I will respond in kind.

     Do my actions matter at all, then?  Of course.  God isn't impressed with the size of my offering, but the condition of my heart.  Its not how wonderfully I worship, but how I give my heart to him.  He calls us to acts of service and obedience.  He calls us to be excellent in all we do.  He calls us to love.  He calls us to be holy, to worship him in the beauty of holiness.  As we become more like Him, He will draw us closer to Himself. 

Where do I worship?  John 4:24:  God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.