There are numerous definitions and examples of how passion is defined, as listed in the online Merriam-Webster dictionary. Normally, I would choose the first definition as being the most definitive: "a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something". I'm not passionate (see what I did there!) about that one. Delving further, I find #4b: "intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction". Now we're talking! #5b also gives us the word "devotion". Throwing it all into a literary blender, I would come out with "overmastering devotion". What is there that floods over me, becomes my master, to which I devote time and energy?
Life has been interesting as of late. With the departure of the children from our house in the past two years, my wife and I have set out on a path of trying to find ourselves. Reinventing in some ways, and reinvigorating in others. In a phrase, who do we want to be as individuals, and as a couple? As we invest our time searching, we are finding pursuits both separate and conjoined that enable us to grow as individuals and as a couple.
To write it all down, the list appears overwhelming:
- Five years ago, we began gardening. A small plot and a few plants turned into over two thousand square feet and more peppers than we ever dreamed. Well, more than my wife ever dreamed. When it comes to peppers, I can dream pretty big!
- Also about five years ago, I bought a unicycle and reinvigorated my love for the one-wheeled obsession.
- I have spent a good amount of time over the past three years learning about guns and self-defense. The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.
- Over two years ago, I resurrected some latent musical ability and began playing bass guitar. I've been playing consistently with our church band, just about every Sunday morning.
- We've spent time at church leading small groups and participating in other ministries.
- There are plans for 2016 involving new ministry outreaches for me that I won't discuss yet because the plans are still evolving.
- Our motorcycles sit, safe and secure, waiting for that next blacktop adventure.
- Its been over a year since my last blog.
In addition to the above list, I also work a full-time job and a part-time job every other weekend. Spend time relaxing with my wife. See my kids and grandkids. House maintenance. Et al.
So here's my title-related quandary: Where is the passion in my life? To which of these do I feel overly devoted? That's hard to answer, because I greatly enjoy every activity above. If I look at the amount of time I spend with each one, I would have to admit there isn't a passion for any of them, just a high-level interest. Is it a lack of time? A lack of discipline? How do I pursue all of the above and be passionate about each one? I think I have neither the time nor the energy to do so. Do I choose one over the rest? Maybe a few? Which do I discard? Scale back?
Its hard to think about. Each one of the above has been a part of life, and defines me in certain ways. There isn't one on the list above that I would voluntarily give up. My neurons just birthed a scary thought: What's out there that isn't on my list yet? What if 2016 brings new interests into my life? Gah! I can't even consider that.
I think I'm comfortable with that. I'll have to go through each item, define where I'm at, and where I want to be at the end of this year. Yeah, that feels right. One small problem: the more competent I become at each one, the more I'll want to develop an overmastering devotion for each one!
