"I drove up and down two aisles to find the closest empty parking spot to the entrance. I shut off my car, grabbed my gym bag, and walked into Planet Fitness."
Yup, I just did that. After all the blogging about moving and being in motion, I just did that. You'd think I'd've learned by now. Especially after my last blog. Its ok, though. At least I recognized my folly as I was getting out of the car, and had a good laugh at my own expense. And yes, it was warm and sunny. No excuses.
I left my job of over 13 years on Friday. A lot of heartfelt goodbyes, hearty handshakes, a few last-chance good-natured insults, and the day was done. My boss dropped me off at home. I was standing in my driveway. No work van parked next to me. A little odd, but the change wasn't hitting me yet.
Understand, I had been working a part-time job for ten years. Every other weekend. Lately, it had been every weekend, covering for the open position which I would eventually fill. Working the weekend was normal for me. Then last night hit.
I relieved the morning shift gentleman as usual, as I had been doing for ten years. Then he said, "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow." That's when it started to feel real. See, the next day (which is actually today) is Monday. I will not be driving to my old job. Working evening shift, I will not even be getting up at any particular time. Evening shift affords me quiet, restful mornings, among a myriad of other changes to be made.
So that's what I did today. I slept until I woke. When I rolled out of bed, I got dressed and went to the gym, something I haven't done in a long time. Came home, made breakfast, and now I sit and am having a good think.
You may think I'm lucky to find a new job that gives me greater benefits than my last job. Something worth leaving a stable, secure job would have to be a good bit of an improvement, and this new job has that promise. But I will argue to my dying day that I am not lucky. This isn't something I fell into. I went to school for this opportunity. I worked a second job for ten years for this opportunity. I worked a double shift every other Friday for ten years for this opportunity. I worked seven days a week for the past seven months for this opportunity.
I typically don't blow my own horn, and I'm really trying to not do that now. But there's a consciousness out there that says "You have to make me happy." "You can't negatively affect my life." "It is your responsibility to keep me safe." While one can argue that an advanced culture can provide some of the aforementioned, reality says it is my responsibility to find happiness. Reality says life comes in waves, and some of those waves will bring negative change. Reality says the world isn't safe, and its my responsibility to do all that I can for myself and for those I love to create the safest world I can imagine.
Options. That is the best way I can describe how I feel today. I have worked hard, divested my interests and knowledge down dissimilar paths, and those divestments have provided me with options. I have exercised an option, and am anxious to see how all this plays out.
I have sought out adversity in a stressful work schedule. I have sought out adversity in a lack of free time, free movement, free behavior. I have sought out adversity in pushing my body past comfort. I have sought out adversity in relationships, or better said, a lack of relationships, to advance my goals. I have given up a social life, hobbies, and fun.
I have chosen this path to get to this point. Today starts a new day for me. A new life. A new schedule. A new budget. Everything I have worked for and sacrificed for all those years stares me in the face and says, "What will you do with me now?" The answer, the honest answer, is... I have no intentions of straying from adversity. It may look different, but adversity has kept me going. Motivated. Alive. I can handle comfort for a time, but not as a lifestyle. My choice. My life.
Work hard. Rest hard. Enjoy life hard. Delve into passions hard. Whatever "it" is, go after it hard. Engaging adversity is where you'll find the best you.
No comments:
Post a Comment